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Booze News is satire and thenceforth, not at all factual. Any similarities to real people or places is purely coincidental. Also, content may include adult humor, not intended for audiences under the age of 18. The easily offended should turn back now, lest be eternally corrupted by the evils of humor.

MADD Cows Outraged at Slaughter

Mother Cows Against Drunk Driving mistaken for Mad Cows

	Sun Oversleeps: World Left in Dark Sun Awakes at Noon, is thankful he didn't miss Price is Right.

	Bush Opens Border to Mars Aliens USA to build saloons on Red Planet & call them Mars Bars.

	FCC Investigates Partridge Halftime Show Singer exposed to be wearing pantsuit, rocks the world.

Rumsfeld: WMD are MIA, we're SOL

Possible explainations from a possible wacko.

	Bush Introduces Homo Alert System Our current risk level is Orange Alert. Don’t drop the soap..

	Local Klansman Turns Pink Forgets to seperate his coloreds from his whites.

	Spiderman Crushed at Capitol Iowa native protests President by scaling the Capitol building

BoSox Win: Jesus Saves

Lord and Savior helps break Curse of the Bambino

	??: ?? What will she write next?

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		Brendan Alexander's Perplexing Times
		breaking news through baby eyes...

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